[Re]Defining Success

Dear Jack,

I’m a huge reader and believer in self improvement, if you haven’t picked that up already.  And one of the words commonly used, by just about everyone, is “success.”  We read about how to get success, how to become successful, how to attract success  - and we seem to have skimmed over asking what success even means.

Furthermore, we  are quick to label others “successful” in their respective careers, lives, and ambitions, but we seem to be using a metric that no one has clearly defined.  What does success mean?  And if we can put a definition on it, then what metrics can we use to determine if someone is successful?  I think we can all agree that the success of a Fortune 500 CEO, the success of a pastor, the success of a stay-at-home mom, and the success of a not-for-profit 501(c)3 business development rep can’t all be treated the same.

Maybe the best place to start is by stating what success is commonly defined as.  This includes the obvious: wealth and material goods.  It’s easy and commonplace to look at the car someone drives to snap a quick judgment of the level of success they’ve experienced so far in life.  Beater with missing hubcaps: dude on the first step of the ladder struggling to put food on the table.  Newish Honda accord: she’s climbed the hill and working on the mountain.  Brand new silver Caddy: the man is made.  *Gasp* Oh boy, did he just look at me?!  Similar story when visiting someone’s home, or talking about how much money they make.  Caddies, McMansions, and 35% marginal tax on income equals success – so says our culture.

Another common way of measuring success is the level of fame.  Having a lot of people know you, either on a local or global scope, seems to make the public deem others successful.  Hollywood stars, elected officials, authors, and athletes alike are collectively defined as successful because their faces are recognized by the majority of a population.  An easily identifiable face equals success – so says our culture.

And one more common metric used to determine success: job title.  People are impressed when the see CEO, owner, president, and other prestigious titles on a business card.  The title, however difficult or easily achieved it was, is deemed as something worthy of praise.  What your business card says about you determines if you’re successful – so says our culture.

I’m not saying wealth, fame, or job titles don’t make people successful – I’m just asking one question:

What does?

Honestly, I think to get at the heart of the matter we have to redefine the measurement of success as something that is individually unique.  Success is going to vary from person to person – and the only uniform way of measuring the success is going to be looking at the accomplishment of their unique goals and callings.  It’s tough, impossible I’d argue, to compare inches, pounds, and gallons.  There’s no common denominator.  The goals of each person are going to be as varied as the various metrics of measurement we use in the English measurement system.

Lydia’s level of success  as a stay at home mom can’t be measured the same way as Warren Buffet’s level of success as the leader of Berkshire Hathaway.  Just the same as President Obama’s success can’t be measured the same was as my success as a financial planner.  The metrics just aren’t the same.

If Apple co-founder Steve Woziak is viewed as successful because he helped launch a mega-company and create some radical new products, but lost a wife through divorce in the process – and he mourns the divorce more than he celebrates the company, who are we to say he’s successful?  That may be an insult to him.  (I have no idea his opinion on this, it’s just for example sake).

And so I find it interesting when a speaker is introduced as being a “successful” individual.  It’s not that I’m just calling into question whether s/he is successful – I’m just curious to know if the introducer took the time to figure why s/he is successful.  Did they meet their unique goals with their unique talents?  What price was paid in order to accomplish those goals?  Is the net result considered a success?

I ask these questions, Jack, because I want you to wrestle with them – and when its time for you to consider what it is you want to do with your own life, I want you to look within to define those metrics of your success, and not look outward.  Figure out what your own unique goals are, and then you, and only those who you choose to share your goals with, will be able to determine your success.  Till next time, Jack.

Sincerely,
J.

Measuring the “Success” of a Year

Dear Jack,

I made a list of some pretty specific goals/resolutions I wished to attain this past year, and did a good job of keeping them in front of me (literally: I laminated and posted them in my shower, at work, and various locations throughout the house).  So it wasn’t as if they were out of my mind – I was constantly looking and striving for these goals.

And I achieved about half of them.  Does this make 2010 a non successful year because I didn’t achieve all my goals?  Does it make 2010 a successful year because I achieved half of them?  Would I have achieved as much without having the goals?  Did the goals distract me from doing other things?  I’ve been reading a fair amount lately about doing a “year in review” time of reflection and measuring what we learned, what we achieved, and what we would do different – and I see a lot of value in doing so.  However, I’m confused in how exactly to go about doing this.

Looking back at my 2010 goals/resolutions, I had various levels of “success.”  Some goals were aborted for various reasons, and replaced with something else.  Other goals I simply just didn’t achieve.  And others were achieved, with some even being doubled.  Some of the most exciting parts of this year were unimaginable in the beginning of the year and weren’t even on my goal radar.  How do I measure the success of all this?  I don’t think we really can.

The phrase “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey” comes to mind.  I think I made strides towards becoming a better person, all around, not because I achieved certain goals and/or resolutions or didn’t achieve them, but because I was intentional in the process of personal development.  This was the first year I could recite my year’s goals/resolutions at the end of the year, and I think there is tremendous subconscious power in this.

So, moving into 2011, my rough draft of goals/resolutions so far has consisted of five categories (professional, spiritual, family, financial, and physical) with one character trait and two specific, measurable goals for each category.  I want to focus in on developing those five character traits, and then use those traits through the combined 10 accompanied goals (5 categories x 2 goals/category).  It’s a nice blend of the subjective and the objective, and a good question I’ll be able to ask myself at the end of next year is “Have I become more ___ in this area of my life?” and “Did I accomplish ___ in this area?”  I’ll be less concerned with the answer to the second question as I will be to the first.

I urge you to consider your own goals, Jack, and to be intentional in self improvement in all the areas of your life.  I don’t have a whole ton of data to support this claim, but from what I’ve found out in life, those who are intentional tend to be a lot more successful – however you measure and define that word – in their life’s — well — intentions.  Till next time, Jack

Sincerely,
J.

Making Financial Decisions

Dear Jack-

Part of what I do on a daily basis, not just as my job, but as the leader of our home, is figure out how to spend our money – however meager or massive the amount.  And this is often a complex issue, because even if there are only five uses of money (giving, taxes, living expenses, debt, and savings), there is an almost infinite amount of sub-categories, and that’s where we often get lost.

Some examples

• Should we complete the back yard project, or increase our cash reserve?
• Should we put the work bonus in savings, or pay down debt?
• Should we pay our kids on commission, or give them a fixed allowance?
• Should we save for a bigger house to do more ministry in, or stay in our current residence?

Ron Blue wisely states that we can’t arrive at the correct answer if we’re not asking the correct question.  As stewards, rather than ask “What should we spend this money on?” I believe a better question is “What would God have me do?”  It seems trivial, maybe – but I have found it forces us to pray and read scripture more than if we leave God out of the question.

The second follow up question is then “What is the best use of this money?”  It is most certainly not “Can we afford it?”  Just because you have enough money in the bank is not reason enough to make a purchase or other financial decision … it may be a start, but it’s by no means the end of the discussion.

These questions seem awkward, I’ll admit, and they may not be answered quickly, which brings me to another point: create time to answer them.  I find that for me, the best time to be still and be quiet and just listen comes in the morning, but that may not be for you.  Maybe it’s on your commute to work, or it’s laying in bed at night, or it’s taking a walk in the mid-afternoon.  Whatever time it is, just be sure that you are intentional in creating it.  I’ve found that God speaks most surely when we’re intentionally listening for him.

This isn’t to say that God’s going to speak audibly on guidance for every $5 you spend, nor should you fast before deciding to fill up on gas, but I do believe he wants us to seek him and listen.  Sometimes he’ll just use our wisdom and our hearts to answer, and other times it seems like a still small voice.  Regardless, we’re to seek him intently.

So remember Jack – don’t just ask “Can I afford this?” or “What should we spend this money on?”  Dig a little deeper and ask “What would God have me do?” and “What is the best use of this money?”  Clarifying the question I believe helps clarify the answer.  Till next time, Jack.

Sincerely,
J.

5 Convictions on Goals

Dear Jack,

I’m currently going through the Kingdom Advisors Training, led by Ron Blue, and it has had, in no exaggeration, a career-shifting impact on my life.  Ron Blue is able to speak truth and wisdom in ways that I haven’t seen before, and being able to see the ministry of financial advice has been motivating and affirming in my career choice.

The latest module of training was on goal setting, and I want to share with you just five convictions that I’ve walked away with.

1. The process of goal setting is more important than the actual goals
2. God is able to direct our steps much easier if we are walking, compared to sitting
3. We are not to set goals based on the past or present situations, or apart from our spouse
4. Goals are a biblical mandate (Ephesians 5.15-17, Proverbs 16.9)
5. When we feel that a goal is received from God and commit it to Him, He is the one who will provide the resources necessary to meet it

Through this module I was able to focus the lens a bit more on the balance of reliance on God and pro-activity of ourselves from this Kingdom Advisors Training.  I hope you become a goal-setting type of person, as I see now not just the personal reasons for setting goals, but the biblical call to set goals.  Till next time, Jack.

Sincerely,
J.